Friday, December 22, 2006


Invasion of our privacy is now everywhere. For some time businesses and the banks have known more about us than we want. Now the medical and the police systems know more and more about us. Terror will keep all this invasion going.

We try many ways to keep our privacy with walls, hedges, tinted glass, alarm and phone security systems. Seniors try to find a quiet place, often in a protected community. Meanwhile, in our crowded neighborhoods and high-rises, it’s tough to keep private.

If all this invasion keeps up will it mean that we will end up in caves, with guns and peep holes?

Among other problems, the most pressing being our children.

Privacy is not part of our children’s world. They weren’t born with the need for privacy, that is a learnt attitude that we teach our children. They are naturally open and forthright. Adding to this, there is no privacy on the street, on the school bus, in the school, in the mall or the new tell-all internet gadgets. Our children are exposed to the full wind of our commercial multi-media promoters and their openess is used.

We, the parents and grandparents have a tough choice to make. Are we going to let invasion of our privacy intimidate us so that we don’t do our job for our kids?

This will come down to practical questions like drugs, smoking, teen sex, sick media, porn and violence. The bad news is that all the police, teachers, and counselors cannot make our society safe for our kids to walk down the street.

The buck for all this stops at the family. If families get together themselves and with other families, they have the power to give children back the safe childhood they deserve.

For example, it means that a family takes a stand on smoking by helping each other. Then it encourages other families to share so that all become stronger and smoking starts to be licked. We all know the benefits of this - avoiding lung cancer, heart attacks, being unfit and even saving money. Everybody knows this is very smart. It is not happening because families aren’t taking control of smoking.

A family that quits smoking gives the world’s best message to the children.

Now, all we have to do is to find smart ways to communicate privately with one another. The terrorists have learned how. Eye on the Family is one way.

Take the first step by sharing with us your comments/concerns on THE FAMILY CHALLENGE by clicking on the comments field found below this blog.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006



It’s hard to find anything simpler than "Yes" and "No". However, we and our children do our best to avoid getting stuck with anything so simple. We always want wiggle room.

"Yes" and "No" can so easily be watered down. Ask the same question again and see what you get. Repeat it often enough and you’ve got wet feet.

But "Yes" and "No" are designed to make life clear and simple. That’s what law is all about.

"I want a cookie"


"But I haven’t had one"

This is how clear and simple gets complicated. "Yes" and "No" can have a discussion but
"No" is still "No", otherwise it isn’t "No".

Children have a bag of tricks to deal with "Yes" or "No". There’s whining, tantrums, sweet talk, etc., etc. Their most powerful tool is "Why?". They don’t really want to know why. They have just discovered that the word leads adults into explanations which have the benefit of watering down.

Under the pressure of "Why", parents will sometimes try buying the child off by "We’ll see". Both sides like that because it avoids the pain of a clear decision. Parents can easily resort to bribery. They will offer peanuts later instead of cookies.

All this goes on when a "No" is not a real "No". The great merit of the simple "No" is that it saves both parent and child from all this demeaning talk.

If the power of the computer is based on "Yes"/"NO", why not make good use of these clear, simple words that work - they are the basis of all law.

When a parent ensures that the children know a real "Yes" or "NO" when they hear it, they are being shown respect for the law. That is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child.

Share your viewpoints on THE FAMILY CHALLENGE of "Yes" and "No" by clicking on the comments field found below this blog.

Monday, December 04, 2006



The oldest game in the world is "But Mommy said". That can be innocent if the parents are together and if they make light of it. Otherwise, it is the thin edge of the wedge between parents - where children really suffer.

Big problems arise when a parent believes that children are born good. Truth is that children are people with capacities for good and bad. They come that way. The parent that doesn’t see that is dangerous - he/she assumes the child always has good intentions.

The fact is that manipulation is deep in the soul. It is life’s big challenge. Children need early help or they grow up thinking that "having my own way" is the way to go. That, of course, leads to all sorts of social, emotional, learning and legal problems.

For example: We all know a family where parents try to help their kids understand everything, this means long explanations. Kids learn "Why" is a magic word to get what they want. The kids are asked to make too many choices. The result is disorder and chaos. Everything is an issue. Worst of all, a child is so frightened by his own power in the family that he acts up to get someone to take control.

All children need stability. They need to feel safe. If they feel early that their safety is up to them, that is very disturbing. If they know their parents will keep things steady, they can relax and enjoy childhood. Otherwise, war is the child’s world instead of law.

There is a modern parenting trend that causes disturbance in children. The modern busy parent feels guilt leaving the child for work. Overcompensation sets in - giving in
to children. This trend loads children with decisions they’re not ready for.

Permissive parents often react against what they saw in their own rigid upbringing. They want to encourage the child to grow in responsibility - which is good. They give the kids too many options they can’t handle. Parents need to give kids more space, fewer decisions and a slower pace.

Innocence is an ideal which nobody attains - young or old. We adults have daily struggles doing things right. Children need to be introduced to that struggle slowly and in a family environment that is safe and stable, a family that respects law at home.

Parents can use the Covenant (see Covenant details at to make their Yeses, YES and their Nos, NO. Be sure to see next week’s blog: The Child and the Law II - Yes and No.

To view your thoughts on THE FAMILY CHALLENGE click on the comment field found below this blog.