Wednesday, December 13, 2006

EYE ON THE FAMILY: A SERIES ON JUSTICE PART III

THE CHILD AND THE LAW II - YES AND NO



It’s hard to find anything simpler than "Yes" and "No". However, we and our children do our best to avoid getting stuck with anything so simple. We always want wiggle room.

"Yes" and "No" can so easily be watered down. Ask the same question again and see what you get. Repeat it often enough and you’ve got wet feet.

But "Yes" and "No" are designed to make life clear and simple. That’s what law is all about.

"I want a cookie"

"No"

"But I haven’t had one"

This is how clear and simple gets complicated. "Yes" and "No" can have a discussion but
"No" is still "No", otherwise it isn’t "No".

Children have a bag of tricks to deal with "Yes" or "No". There’s whining, tantrums, sweet talk, etc., etc. Their most powerful tool is "Why?". They don’t really want to know why. They have just discovered that the word leads adults into explanations which have the benefit of watering down.

Under the pressure of "Why", parents will sometimes try buying the child off by "We’ll see". Both sides like that because it avoids the pain of a clear decision. Parents can easily resort to bribery. They will offer peanuts later instead of cookies.

All this goes on when a "No" is not a real "No". The great merit of the simple "No" is that it saves both parent and child from all this demeaning talk.

If the power of the computer is based on "Yes"/"NO", why not make good use of these clear, simple words that work - they are the basis of all law.

When a parent ensures that the children know a real "Yes" or "NO" when they hear it, they are being shown respect for the law. That is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give a child.

Share your viewpoints on THE FAMILY CHALLENGE of "Yes" and "No" by clicking on the comments field found below this blog.

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