WHY ILLNESS IS RUNNIING AHEAD OF WELLNESS?


There is a simple, huge fact. Illness is about fixing problems. Wellness is about preventing problems and in some cases, easing problems.

Our budgets tell the story. Most money goes into specialized medicine: least money into prevention.

There is confusion about illness and wellness because they are in different worlds. The professionals help solve the current health problems; Families are responsible for their own wellness – long term.

We all need to realize that problem-solving doesn’t lead to wellness – it only gets us back to where we were. Wellness comes from a different world.

Wellness does two great things. It often prevents illness. In other cases it eases treatment and recovery.

Families have been used to going to the professionals for help. Today’s professionals are not trained in family-based wellness.

Something has got to change. Families need to refocus on their own wellness. Professionals need to learn the ways of helping families achieve wellness.

The big question is: “Who is going to pick up this big ball?” So far, no candidates in sight.

Where is your family on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE?  Let's hear from you.

THE "BIG IFS" OF FAMILY WELLNESS


The "What Ifs"

What if - Family wellness prevents, and sometimes, eases illness? Fixing problems does not produce wellness. Wellness comes from within the family - not from the absence of problems. Wellness and illness are in two different worlds.

What if – Family wellness comes from within the wider family? Wellness traits flow, silently and randomly, from the older to the younger generations.

What if – Family wellness comes in the shape of a Rainbow, with six ingredients that families work to find balance? One thing, like fitness alone, doesn’t make it.

Some Big Results from the "What Ifs"

The family must recapture its holistic vision of the wider family. That family is responsible for the wellness of their children. Community professionals can advise but can’t substitute for the family. Only families can care for their own 24/7.

The health and human services will experience huge changes. In health care with 30% of families using the Wellness Rainbow, 15% of the most specialized services can be replaced by wellness services to families. The costs of 100 families in intensive care will serve 1,000 families for wellness support.

The denominations are shrinking fast. The Christian churches have lost the vision of the founders. To regain the vision, the churches need to retool to focus on the wider family instead of their interest being limited to the individual.

Education is the popular investment by families for their children. By education alone, our children won’t find their own wellness.

WELLNESS – THE FAMILY’S HIDDEN TREASURE

What is more important than the character of our children and our grandchildren?

Next big question is: “How does it happen?” We try to be good examples. We teach them what we can. We give them good opportunities - like reading. We know that love is really big and that they need some rules.

Does that get it? The answer is: So far so good, but all this doesn’t go far enough. Then what does? Try this:

Let me think of one feature in my character which I prize. Let’s say it is “fairness with others”. Now let’s scan the horizons of my family to find that particular person who is really fair in his/her dealings.

The big lesson here for family wellness is that the important character traits flow down from the older members of the family to the present generation of kids and grandkids.

How does this happen? Mostly silently. A child sees his grandmother pray at bedside at night. Nothing has been said. The child already knows that his grandma is a good person. Onto his screen comes the vision of her praying. That vision can easily last a lifetime for that child. It can be a big influence as the child grows to face the questions of faith.

In this view, character traits flow from the older to the younger generations – silently. This process can not be programmed. It happens through the bonds of family life.

The big lesson here? What matters is that nurturing of children comes from their experience of the lives of other family members. This means that parents who want the best for their kids must tend to their own lifestyles first. It also means that grandparents, aunts and uncles can have major influences on the child’s character from the strengths in their own characters.

The other big thing is that the character development of children depends much more on what we are than about what we say. Children have X-ray vision that sees through to the very core of their adults. Their wellness depends on our wellness.

Goal for Today: We ensure that our children have good access to the other family members.

OUR FAMILY: A VICTIM IN OUR CHANGING SOCIETY?

Here are the big trends that impact the family:

• Declining living standards from debt loads
• Epidemics like anxiety, obesity, etc
• Misuse of prescription and illegal drugs
• Rapidly changing values and beliefs
• Domestic and imported violence and terror
• Government intrusion into family life
• Press focus on the ugly extremes

If this is true, families need a renewed focus on Wellness.   The Family Wellness Rainbow is one good way!

To see the Family Wellness Rainbow go to:   www.familycybermall.org

FAMILY WELLNESS - OUR HIDDEN TREASURE


A Clinician’s Viewpoint

Why do most drivers drive safely? Because there is a law? Not likely. They do so because it is in their character. How did it get there? That is the big wellness question.

Another example: I love the great songs. I do my best to play them on my piano. The richness of music is one of the vital gems in my life. How did it get in me?

So, now I search for the hidden wellness treasure. My parents and grandparents showed little interest in music. No one played an instrument. Yet, as a teenager I started to teach myself to play the piano. Since then, music has been a big part of my life. Where did this come from?

There was an uncle who played the piano. I would watch as he played the great old songs from sheet music. We never talked about music. My love of music was sown there. Nobody in the family thought about this vital event. It was wellness well hidden.

We each can check this out. All we do is ask ourselves what is really important in my life. For each one, we do a family background check. Who in my greater family has this important life feature? To whom am I indebted?

When we do this we find at least four big parts of our life with direct connection to a parent, grandparent, uncle or aunt. We have put our fingers on the key elements in our life. We have also seen how these gifts have silently, and usually unnoticed, flowed from a family member to me. I have discovered the hidden wellness treasure.

This however, is not the biggest part of the story. The bigger deal is that I now know that the character of our children flows from us and our parents and older generations.

This is where the mud hits the wall. We are responsible for the raising of our kids and grandkids but we haven’t been aware of how it happens. We have read the child care books. Wellness doesn’t come from books. It comes from family life. The real wellness is not street stuff; it is soul stuff. Are we fit for the job?

So what do we do to ensure wellness for our kids and grandkids? First we take stock of the big character traits we have. Is that enough? Then, we need to check all our relatives for their wellness gems.

Enter the Family Wellness Rainbow. It gives a good picture of the full scope of family wellness. That tells us how we are doing. It also tells us where we need work.

As each family searches for its hidden treasures it learns more about how the larger family really works. Using the Rainbow, the family can then get to work where there are gaps in their wellness for their children.

See the Family Wellness Rainbow at www.familycybermall.org and use it for your family’s wellness needs.

WHO IS HELPING FAMILIES WITH THEIR WELLNESS?

A Clinician's Viewpoint

At last count, every family has at least 12 different services all targeted on one element of family wellness:

Schools, Law Enforcement, Banks, Businesses, Governments,

Churches, Agencies, Hospitals, Clubs, Internet, Libraries, Media

How can Joe the plumber find who can help his family's wellness?

Which agency can help him find a wellness balance that is best for his family?

The obvious answer is hardly anybody.  Why?  Because each service is in its own legal, financial and professional specialized world.  These good folks are already too busy struggling with waiting lists and money pressures.

Instead of competing for local funding, these organizations must find new ways to combine their services so that Joe gets help with his family's wellness.

In the end only Joe and his family can figure out what is best for them.   Now they are isolated from the wellness help they need.   More of the specialties can't do the job.  Hopefully some of these organizations will see Joe's family wellness need and shift gears beyond their present specialty.

It would be great for Joe and his family if some community agencies came to an agreement on the combination that makes for wellness.   Could they even turn to the Family Wellness Rainbow as one model?

Why not use the Family Wellness Rainbow model yourself as your guide for your family's wellness needs.  See the Family Wellness Rainbow model at:   www.familycybermall.org.

ARE FUN AND WORK A BIG PROBLEM?


This is a big question in our world.

Our society seems intent on finding fun, in whatever form. If this is where we are headed, sorry to report that the incidence of mental health problems in children has doubled in the last 50 years.

It has been a common goal to work hard for retirement to have fun. The problem here is that retirement itself is retiring. Those who are retired find themselves working harder than ever.

So does this mean no fun? Not if we have the right attitude towards work. Many will say that the most important satisfactions come from work. Maybe fun is a fantasy that lures us away from work with nothing to show for it.

Fun might just be like happiness. If you go for it you don’t get it. But if you do the right things, fun comes as a perk which cannot be planned.

This line of thought is true in the faith. We grow in the faith through caring, serving and praying. Faith does not come easy or easily. It takes work.

The Family Wellness Rainbow shows us where we need to do some work.

Let’s here from you on this FAMILY CHALLENGE!