Thursday, March 20, 2008

ARE WE GETTERS OR GIVERS?


Here is the regular menu of what our family gets:


Cars.......................Roads.....................Police

House.....................Water.....................Fuel

Power.....................Mail.......................Garbage

TV.........................Radio.....................Internet

Holidays..................Sports....................Games

Shows.....................Newspapers.............Bikes

Health Care...............Drugs....................Emergency

Dental.....................Libraries................Swimming

Food.......................Clothing.................Shoes

Furniture..................Insurance..............Charge Cards

Schools....................Counseling.............Training

Armies.....................Mounties...............Alarms

Churches..................Clubs....................Classes

Etc.........................Etc.......................Etc.


We not only have all these, we expect to have them all the time. So our Family is a “getter” - big time.

Does our family ever think how we get all this? When we pay taxes and when we buy something we feel we are paying for it - but are we?

Does our family ever think of itself as a member of the community - getting and giving?

If we did, we would realize that you can’t buy good service. That only comes from someone wanting to help. We would also realize that most of these services rely on volunteer help somehow. So there are helpers out in our community helping. Does our family see this and does it do it?

The sad fact is that there are folks who think they have a right to get. It is also sad that too many families take all their goodies for granted. But then, there are families who see themselves as community supporters doing what they can to help.

Is our community showing signs that the “getters” outnumber the “givers”? That is when communities fail. That is when families and individuals suffer - Big time.

Tell us if you think your family is a “getter” or a “giver” in this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE by clicking on the comment button found below.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

IS OUR FAMILY HONEST?

There are big lies and little lies. Big lies are what some governments and businesses do. Families have to worry about little lies.

Little lies work against trust. Without trust, relationships suffer. When relationships suffer the family starts falling apart.

The trouble with little lies is that they lead to more lies - it’s like a virus. In the family with this virus, nobody can feel safe. The whole security of the family is at stake - the members are on edge with each other. They end up feeling alone. If this condition becomes chronic, family members develop all sorts of personal problems.

So, honesty is big and tough. The toughest part is the risks. Will they lead in the right or wrong direction? Will others welcome and support us? Or will our honesty lead to misunderstanding?

So, honesty is essential to family life and honesty in family life is essential to our own lives. So where do we start?

As with most family matters, the start is with the parents and other key adults. Family honesty has its origins in marital honesty. So for parents, honesty is not an option. It keeps getting tougher because marital honesty starts with one’s honesty with oneself. Here’s where it gets really tough.

Each individual, parent and adult faces the challenge to size up oneself to be able to lead a family and be a parent. Most of us need help with this - in fact, self-assessment is a risky solo task. We need the help of a friend to get the real picture.

Honesty is a bit of an art. We know folks who “speak their mind” and hurt others. We might withhold a fact that could hurt rather than help. Honesty comes down to the two little words - “Yes” and “No”. When put to the test these two words settle most big, complicated matters.

One of the great features of the family is that folk’s lives are intertwined. The big family test is: Who will be with me when I die? These deep bonds shape us. It is true that it is sometimes easier to be honest with a stranger and it is also true that honesty is tougher at home. There is great peril in being honest elsewhere when it is the honesty at home that builds the bonds that shape us.

So, family life is built on honesty which is built on honesty with oneself. This is essential in order to live in supportive family relationships with others. Honesty is essential for a family to be a family.

Give us your opinion on Family Honesty, another step forward in meeting The Family Challenge.