THE TWO WORLDS OF OUR FAMILY

Our Inside View:

• Here is where we live every day
• Our routines are too familiar
• We have a long "to-do" list
• We never catch up

All through school and into work -

• We are trained to figure things out
• We now know about "problem then solution"
• We also know about goals and results

All this is where we live every day.

Our Outside View:

• Here is where we have a problem getting the picture
• We weren't trained to use our imagination to get a vision

Pro Sports are learning to visualize -

• The pro scans the fairway, rough, water and green
• He has been trained to see the whole, good short, first

How do we visualize our Family?

• Can we visualize a picture of our home and family members?
• Can we imagine how others see our family?
• Can we create in our minds a video of our past, present and future?

Visualizing Has Big Payoffs:

• We think about what's really important - like our purpose
• We think about our time with our loved ones
• We refocus on our job - raising kids and adults - serving others
• Tomorrow we will do better

Does your family visualize? Tell us about this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE!

SAFEGUARDING OUR CHLDREN, PART III: FROM THE GENDER GAP


The big social news is that women are achieving new roles. This is good both for families and for women. Marriages can be partnerships - with sharing of roles and mutual decision-making. Women can realize their potentials and talents.

Social role shifts are big news - in the sense that every role shift affects everybody. Mom can’t take on a new role without affecting dad and the kids. If mom suddenly is macho, that can have a shock for children.

It is big too on the calendar. Role shifts cannot happen quickly - none of us adjust very fast - we all need time. Children are more sensitive to role shifts than parents. They need time to test out any new deal - and will do so in unique ways.

The benefits of this big news for women are great. So are the risks. The biggest risk children face is confusion. Little boys still need a clear view of what boys are about. Little girls need that too. In fact, little boys and girls need rather clear views of each other. All this comes mainly from family life.

Children benefit when parents are comfortable in their own skins. When mom and dad sort out their roles with comfort, children benefit. But children get hurt when they view role conflict between mom and dad. That hurt can be temporary or long term - depending on how the parents do.

Ours is a rapidly changing society. Children are robust. Yet their lives, their self image and their behaviour are shaped in the family by their role models. There is lots of talk these days about role models. None can compare in influence with that of the parents.

Children can weather the storms of neglect or abuse. The storm that gives them long term handicaps are those that can come from their parents’ relationship – whatever or wherever it is.

Mom’s new role is family business. The family needs to be supportive to mom. The family also needs to look after all its members. No family stays still for very long. Good family life takes work - all the time.

How does your various family roles meet this FAMILY CHALLENGE?