Wednesday, March 03, 2010

SAFEGUARDING OUR CHLDREN, PART III: FROM THE GENDER GAP


The big social news is that women are achieving new roles. This is good both for families and for women. Marriages can be partnerships - with sharing of roles and mutual decision-making. Women can realize their potentials and talents.

Social role shifts are big news - in the sense that every role shift affects everybody. Mom can’t take on a new role without affecting dad and the kids. If mom suddenly is macho, that can have a shock for children.

It is big too on the calendar. Role shifts cannot happen quickly - none of us adjust very fast - we all need time. Children are more sensitive to role shifts than parents. They need time to test out any new deal - and will do so in unique ways.

The benefits of this big news for women are great. So are the risks. The biggest risk children face is confusion. Little boys still need a clear view of what boys are about. Little girls need that too. In fact, little boys and girls need rather clear views of each other. All this comes mainly from family life.

Children benefit when parents are comfortable in their own skins. When mom and dad sort out their roles with comfort, children benefit. But children get hurt when they view role conflict between mom and dad. That hurt can be temporary or long term - depending on how the parents do.

Ours is a rapidly changing society. Children are robust. Yet their lives, their self image and their behaviour are shaped in the family by their role models. There is lots of talk these days about role models. None can compare in influence with that of the parents.

Children can weather the storms of neglect or abuse. The storm that gives them long term handicaps are those that can come from their parents’ relationship – whatever or wherever it is.

Mom’s new role is family business. The family needs to be supportive to mom. The family also needs to look after all its members. No family stays still for very long. Good family life takes work - all the time.

How does your various family roles meet this FAMILY CHALLENGE?

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