Eye on the Family

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:27:00 +0000

WHAT NEXT EPIDEMIC DOES OUR FAMILY FACE?

Now, the big one is H1N1 flu

We can’t get all the information we need
Can we trust the new injection?
Why is it high risk for some and not for others?
Is all this panic really necessary?

We have other bigger epidemics going on:

Diabetes rates will double in the next 15 years
(Columbia Medical School, Cleveland Clinic)
Diabetic children will start dying before their parents
Childhood asthma is big and growing
Attention deficit affects large number of school children
Anxiety drugs are in regular use by adults and children

What do all these epidemics have in common?

As we all know, the one word answer is lifestyle
Fast foods make fat that reduce fitness
Rushed family life leave children short on hugs
Family focus on debt takes attention away from wellness

We all know what we need to do

Our family life is the only place we can change
We can do fruit juice rather than sodas
We can turn some couch time into fitness time
We can lean up our daily menu
We could take our foot off the pedal

The Big Fact: Our Lifestyle is Killing Us

Let's hear your thoughts on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:06:00 +0000

THE PRICE OF OUR FAST LIVING

We are living a life of extremes:

We drive over the speed limit
We spend beyond our incomes
Our TVs fill us with extremes
We live in loud, surround sound

The price of our fast living is very high

Stress is everywhere with everyone
Our rushed kids have attention deficits
The cars we drive kill and maim thousands
We are in overdrive because we overspend

High pace kills; Moderation pays

Fast pace leads to bad friends; slow pace leads to good ones
High speed kills; low speed is much safer
Our dress shows the real us: moderate or extreme
Kindly words encourage: coarse words turn folks off
Extremes are exhausting: moderation takes little effort

We know we are going too fast

There is a new interest in meditation
Walking trails are becoming popular
We are dressing down
Fitness is starting to replace anxiety pills
We find some peace in our favorite pods
Our spirituality is becoming important again

What we can do:

We can slow ourselves down, if not our world
We can slow our family down and take a breath
We can even take time to smell the flowers

Can your family slow down and meet this FAMILY CHALLENGE?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 03:24:00 +0000

THE FAMILY AND THE ORGANIZATION

Have we noticed that we now live a world of organization? Medicine, recreation, family help - all used to come from friends and neighbours. Now they come through organizations.

Our family members spend more time in organizations than at home. But home is our first line of security. How do we manage to do both?

Sounds like we need to help each other do good things at home so we know what to look for in all our organizations. The big thing here is that we have some control in our family and much less control in our various organizations.

The modern organization has a character of its own. It has a unique culture, policies, beliefs and ways of doing things. How do we fit our family culture, talents and beliefs with the organization?

Sounds like we need to know what to look for when we knock on the door of an organization. Here are some of the good things to check out:

Number one always, is supervision: is it a boss or teamwork place?
Next, are the people - friendly or not? The receptionist is a good sign.
Next is motive - what’s their real mission? Greed or Service?
And, is vision and teamwork the way they get things done?

The danger in organizations is getting trapped in the wrong place and not seeing a way out. We can check out ahead by asking friends, volunteering, getting a student job.

Probably the best approach to an organization is to have the key, direct questions ready to be asked up front. The good, strong organization will value our direct questions. The weak ones act insulted.

No matter how bad we want to get in, the wrong organization will just make life worse.

Our family is our first and best group experience. Our best preparation for life in the organization is our family well-being and togetherness.

Let’s hear your views on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 13:32:00 +0000

SEX AND THE FAMILY

In all the sex excitement, we can easily get distracted from the main thing: the main purpose is to make kids. The other big deal is that good sex makes for family harmony in which children grow.

Unfortunately, most of the excitement involves various kinds of sex abuse. Toping that list are the advertisers who tarnish sex for purposes of attention and money. With them are the copywriters for the media, films and the arts. These folks turn to sex as they run out of solid content.

We all know the big sex facts: infidelity hurts everybody; teen pregnancy comes from teen sex; HIV comes from unwise sex.

Sex can be an appealing addiction giving rise to pornography and horrible crimes. Our justice systems are overtaxed trying to keep up with the growth. Behind them are the money merchants who profit from keeping all this human misery going.

Then there are the headline seeking academics and their frothing followers. They use the popular appeal of sex to advance their own status and careers. They cite studies that emphasize gender differences. They ignore the fundamentals of family solidarity. All this propaganda distorts family life and makes life tough for children.

There also, are the lawyers who are out to sanitize the family. They make laws against such vital things like hugs. In families, schools and other intimate relationships, hugs are indispensable to good child and family mental health. How do we go about taking these lawyers to court?

Those of us who are not on any sex abuse registry can feel smug ignoring what all these rascals are doing to the precious nature of the marital relationship and the family home. There is already too many out marching for things less important. Maybe some renowned writer should write a solid best-seller on “Sex and the Family”.

For more on family wellness please see: www.familycybermall.org.

What’s your view on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 21:50:00 +0000

WE NEED FAMILY WELLNESS - FOR OUR KIDS SAKE

Is there anything more important than the nurturing of our children?
Then is there anything more important than family wellness?

Most of us agree that wellness is vital. Few of us agree what it is. Some say fitness; others say education; others say faith. Who is right? Are we all right? Are we all wrong?

Or, maybe wellness doesn’t come from one thing. Maybe wellness is a number of things including fitness education and faith – blended together.

If that is so, then each family needs to decide its own wellness mix. The trick for each family is to find a good balance and not miss anything essential.

Our Western way of life discourages holistic wellness. There are too many folks with their single brand of wellness from which they make their livelihood. Companies sell their brand of health food. Schools promote their own views of learning. Clergy sell their own type of faith.

So, our families face a barrage of different wellness brands, they are left to decide themselves. Families need a new wellness vision: Our job is to make sure our families have well-rounded wellness.

All this makes the family vision of wellness priority number ONE. Health care, education, religion now are part of something much bigger. Health, education and religion are not ends in themselves but vital dimensions in the new family wellness vision.

Until families get a new wellness vision, they will continue to be victims of all the forces selling their own selfish, brands of “wellness”.

How's your family's wellness vision?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:17:00 +0000

OUR MONEY MADNESS PANDEMIC II: THE SOLUTION

For the safekeeping of our money, why would we turn money over to those who keep half for themselves?

This is what the big banks, governments and businesses do. They call it by the seductive name “Credit”. These big boys keep track of their own welfare by a game called the “stock market” - which has little to do with the welfare of us ordinary folks.

Our answer to our money madness is savings - the opposite of credit. Credit makes us slaves to big system pressures, dragging down our family wellness. Saving puts our families in the driver’s seat, giving us control and well-being.

It is going to take guts for families to shake credit and do savings. We have all dug ourselves into big holes. The big guys want us there and will give us no help out.

Here is a sensible, though tough, prescription and revamp for family financial well-being: (from www.familycybermall.org):

Separate fixed from optional costs
Make savings a fixed cost
To do this be prepared to redo house and car debt
A saving rate of 25% provides for education, retirement and insurance
Get rid of online banking, debit cards and unused credit cards
Limit internet purposes to solid sources only
Pay down monthly credit card balances
Invest only in sure fire, well known plans

A Family Balance Sheet that Balances Leads to Balanced Wellness

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:15:00 +0000

OUR MONEY MADNESS PANDEMIC I

The inventor of the dollar had a great idea. I can exchange the value of my labour for goods. This was good because I worked, earned a dollar, and then saved it so I could buy the goods.

Over the past decades we have tried an easier way. When I want goods I use credit to get those goods and end up with debt. We have worked that game to the point where I can now owe more than I own. My debt is over 100%, which we will likely pass on to our children.

How did we get there? The insurance companies learned that when they get people paying they can keep as much as they dish out. Then, the furniture and car companies learned that with credit they can make more money on money than on goods. In the process, we end up paying double for all that we buy. That is why credit is dumb. That is why savings is smart.

There are things worse than having no money. When we chase it full bore we lose sight of why we are doing it - our values and behaviour get messed up. Family life is more hectic and frustrating than an airport. We have lost sight of what’s important in our lives. We are raising our kids in some money fantasy world.

Our money-driven fantasy world is weird. When we can’t stand the pressures we do drugs, alcohol and all the other diversions. To get money we gamble and lose the money we didn’t have anyway. We can destroy our way of life.

Nations have the same problem. The big money managers have the credit virus big time. On the brink of disaster they convince our governments to lend them our money to bail them out so they can turn around and lend us our money at high interest rates. All these big guys think they can solve the credit crunch by borrowing more money than we knew existed, if it does.

In the meantime, families have a pile of credit card, car loan and mortgage debt deeper than we know how to shed. The big guys get rid of debt by cancelling their obligations - leaving savers who loaned, empty handed.
We can only do this with personal bankruptcy which takes us into a new lean world. We need a better family money solution than those coming from the big guys. That solution is not asking the big guys for even more of our money from the government so that we can supposedly borrow our way out of our debt.

Let’s hear from you on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:22:00 +0000

JOE THE PLUMBER AND ALL HIS DEBTS

Joe has lived under two different money worlds. In the one, the big idea is that the big money guys provide capital that results in jobs, incomes to pay for goods and services. In the other, the big idea is for government to make rules so that the sharing of wealth is somewhat fair and matches needs.

Neither idea is bad in itself. What is very bad for Joe is that we now have an ungodly mix of both.

The capitalists found they could make lots of money by offering Joe endless credit. Unfortunately Joe went for it - credit cards, lines of credit, loans, mortgages, etc. His debt load now nearly equals his net worth.

The socialists set up tax systems that require hosts of bureaucrats to make the rules and see that Joe pays all his local, state and federal taxes. The systems are like cancer. They spread on their own and are hard to get rid of. This happens mainly because bureaucrats like jobs that are secure, pay well with all the benefits.

So, poor Joe is under a mountain of debt and taxes. Business and governments now have Joe where they want him. It is not in their interests to help him.

So what does Joe do? First he needs to pull back on borrowing and start saving. He needs to take back control of his family finances. This is going to be tough but not as tough as the corner he is now in.

The switch from credit to savings will certainly mean down grading of his major assets - home and cars. Saving goes into the budget list of essentials. He will only put his money where he is sure it is safe. He will no longer trust experts and their free advice.

Some families have already been doing all this. They are in control of their finances. They have savings for kids’ college, retirement and accidents. They are living well because they are not controlled by the big, greedy systems that take their money.

For more please see: www.familycybermall.org

Do you know someone like Joe and this FAMILY CHALLENGE?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 08:30:00 +0000

OUR CHILDREN AND FAMILIES: AT THE CROSSROADS

Our string of social crises - children on drugs, abuse, school drop-outs, crime, obesity, stress, jobs, drunk driving, debt, court cases - are telling us our children and families are at a crossroads.

Our string of social crises - overwhelmed medical services and costs, drugs in schools, courts in endless back-ups, churches losing ground, growing unemployment - are telling us that our community agencies for children and families are at a crossroads.

This crossroads demands the right decision. What is that decision?

For over 60 years the child and family pattern has been to look to community agencies for the help they need. In that time, we have developed every conceivable type of special services: health care, special education, family courts, prescription drugs, social services, insurance, credit and government grants.

In that pattern, families have looked to the community agencies for their needs. That pattern has now ground to a halt. Children and family problems persist; the community services are running out of resources.

The big decision for families and community services is WELLNESS.

No specialized services can do the family wellness job. No specialized service can get it right without a family wellness foundation. That foundation can come only from the family.

Put another way - when will we see the doctor, lawyer, counsellor, teacher and jobs advisor meeting together to figure out what’s best for Joe the Plumber and his family? Where will these specialists find the time to keep in regular touch with Joe and his family to help their progress?

Wellness provides the family life framework for the character-building of children. Wellness is a blend of vital dimensions: health, relationships learning, roots, values and faith. Only Joe and his family can decide what combination is right for them.

Wellness is the foundation for the well-being of our children, families, community, nation and world. The building starts from the ground up.

The New Rainbow for Family Wellness is one framework - we will need more and better ones. But, it is a start for families to make the right decision at the crossroads.

Please see: http://www.familycybermall.org/

Families now need to take control of their own wellness.

How’s your family’s wellness? Let’s hear from you and this FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:13:00 +0000

JOHN STEINBECK AND THE FAMILY

These are the messages of this blog:

We can be no stronger than our family
We do well when our family is working well
All our wellness is the exclusive business of the family

If you don’t believe us, here’s what John Steinbeck says:

“People need responsibility. They resist assuming it, but they cannot get along without it. I know this will cause cries of pain from the doctrinaires of the individual. I’m one myself. But also I believe that man is a double thing - a group animal and at the same time an individual. And it occurs to me that he cannot successfully be the second until he has fulfilled the first”

Saturday Review (May 1955)

So, this means that:

Violence starts in the home, we can’t blame the community
The family is the starting place to fix learning problems
Addictions have their source and control in the family
Money problems have their source and control in the family
Community experts can’t fix family problems
Most government, media and commercial cures are suspect
The family’s job is nurture and support for all its members

Let's hear from you on the FAMILY CHALLENGE of Family Wellness.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:04:00 +0000

IS OUR FAMILY SOFT ON CRIME?

In the Virginia Tech tragedy, 32 people died. An English teacher expressed concern about the gunman 18 months earlier. The counseling service didn't have authority. The University had the authority to expel the student but did not.

What is amazing about all the reporting is lack of attention to the family. They had authority - they helped pay college bills. Why didn't they make it their business to check their son's college life and quarters? It is hard to hide big, automatic weapons.

When we send kids to college, they can think they are free - free from family and free to do as they wish. Here is where both families and kids can get it seriously wrong. Parents need to know all about their child's college life, exposure to different values and close friends. Legal age has nothing to do with all this because family is family and family is paying.

These parents may have been confused about their responsibilities. They must not inflict a school with problems they can't control. They must be sure the big expenditure is worthwhile. They must provide their child with the support he/she needs regardless of age.

Teens and youth can kick up dust in parent's faces. Parents need to see that the dust-kicking is merely a test to see if parents mean what they say. No family should turn a child into the community who does not get the rule of law. A "Yes" is Yes and a "No" is No.

The rule of law is very simple. In life, there are rules. Law breaking leads to consequences. The consequences are usually sufficient to ensure law-keeping. Despite the mechanics of law, children must learn respect for others. Children learn respect for law and others early in their family life.

Give us your opinion on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 14:03:00 +0000

WHAT ABOUT DAD?

Decades ago, Bumstead in the cartoon Blondie, started the jokes about dear, old, bumbling, Dad. It would still be funny but some folks now take it as a comment on modern family life.

This coincides with Mom taking on two jobs. The focus has turned to Mom and the heavy load she has. In the process, Dad seems to be losing his muscle.

Most Dads today are very pleased to share the load of family breadwinner. They are also glad to lose the label of “Family Boss”. They know that teamwork works best.

There is a snag in all this. With all the attention on Mom, kids can get warped views of men and women. Both girls and boys continue to need to see Dads as strong and brave - doing guy things. They will enter their later adult relationships holding family views of adult roles.

In the old days, the dominant male style wasn’t the best for children. Now, any dominant female styles will also do kids a disservice.

So, this comes down to the old story. Mom and Dad must make sure they have their act and their signals straight to do the best job for the kids. This is true regardless of family structure or orientations.

Wars between Mom and Dad are the world’s most damaging experiences for children. In wars, nobody is right. In wars, nobody wins.

Let’s hear from you on this FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 13:07:00 +0000

IF MAMA AIN’T HAPPY - AIN’T NOBODY HAPPY!

This great saying may not sit well with some women. It suggests that:

Family is down when Mama is down
Everybody is tense when Mama is tense
Family is grumpy when Mama is grumpy
Things only go well when Mama is OK

Today’s Mamas have every right to say:

“Enough is enough”
“I’m already doing three jobs”
“Who’s looking out for me?”

If the saying is true, then each Mama should:

Accept the fact she shapes family moods
Remember that raising kids is job One
Ensure her mate shares the load
Look after her life for today

This isn’t just Mama’s challenge, this is a FAMILY CHALLENGE!

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 15 May 2009 18:30:00 +0000

DEAR MOM - TAKE A BREATH - FOR THE KIDS

The Old Family Story

Dad too busy at work
No energy at home for the kids
Little boys missed guy time with Dad
Little girls missed their time with Dad

The New Story is Very Different

Mom works at work, home, marriage - tries to run too fast
When Mom’s strung out, the family is strung out
Shift work doesn’t work for kids who need continuity
Kids are left with more freedom than they can handle

Overstressed Parents Are Trying to Raise Kids

Community kid culture brings questionable values
Kids run the schools - police patrol for drugs, like the street
Churches have lost their grip on family life
Business and government peddle their products and programs

What About the Family?

Needs to regroup, get a grip and take control of family life
Need to regain focus on the big job - raising kids
Shift priorities from goodies to wellness
Kids need to hear and feel parent values and beliefs

What About Mom?

Take a breath and put family first
Dad and kids need to stand up to the plates, rugs, money
Mom needs to discover her new role in a working family
Time for Mom to set a new family

How is your family meeting this FAMILY CHALLENGE?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 01 May 2009 20:16:00 +0000

DEAR MOM - TIME TO TAKE A BREATH - FOR THE FAMILY

In our day, Moms are trying to do two or more jobs - well. By her taking a breath, Dad, the kids and the grandparents can share in the heavy lifting.Betsey Hart, Chicago radio station WYLL says “If Dads are there at all, it’s SuperMom handling everything”.

Look what’s happening to Mom and Dad:

The sheriff leading the charge down Main Street is a lady
The press plays up bad Dad deserting the family
Moms must now compete with Dads in the muscle fitness world
Press jokes about Dads outnumber Mom jokes 10 to 1

Looks What’s Happening to the Family

The full-time homemaker is replaced by part-time homemakers
Family life is a rat race much like the community
No time to get together
Relationships get and stay frayed in all the hustle
Grandparents mostly out of the family loop
Use of anxiety medications skyrocketing
Families try getting all their solutions from the community

What’s Driving this Family Imbalance?

Businesses that target individuals - particularly women
Governments promoting individual rights instead of family rights
Media dish out extreme examples of lousy family life
Groups claim conspiracies against women

How to Correct All This Family Fragmentation

Parents need to get together and take control of family life
Material goals need to be lowered to be within reason
Reinvent regular family time for fun, sharing, decisions, prayer

Take a breath and meet this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:34:00 +0000

THE FAMILY IN AN AGE OF PERIL

The family has the world’s most important job: the well-being and nurturing of children. Our society’s big forces seem intent on controlling our family rather than supporting it. How can the family marshal its strengths to get the big job done well? How can the family withstand the controlling community powers?

Job one for the family is child nurturing and marital harmony. This means responsibility for health, faith, learning, careers and primary relationships. Sounds nearly impossible. In fact there is no other candidate for this job.

Arrayed against the family are powerful community forces working to control the family. Business strives to sell its products. Governments want to influence our behaviour and our votes. The health care systems prescribe drugs. Schools tell us how to educate our kids. Churches tell us what is right and what is wrong. The banks tell us what to do with our money. The media want to shock us into buying what their advertisers sell.

Each of these big community systems has its own focus with huge resources to sell their ways.

How does the family cope in the face of such powerful influences? It faces two dimensions - the challenges inside and outside the family. The inside is always the tougher one.

The family needs to do what all the big forces do - find their unique mission focus. In sum, the family mission is wellness. Wellness has at least six key dimensions including fitness, learning, relationships, jobs and faith. The power base of each family is its blend of wellness dimensions.

The family needs to develop its inner strength before trying to deal with all the community forces exerting control. Family empowerment comes first from family wellness focus.

Next there is the challenge from all these controlling community forces. In our age, where does one find a power base? Happily the computer can become a major family wellness tool. How?

Knowledge is power. When the family organizes itself on its wellness base, it suddenly has power and leverage with big systems. The family can develop its own knowledge system on its own computer.

Then what can happen?

Families can use their new medical information to dialogue with doctors about the best medication.
Families can discuss with teachers their specific educational goals for their children.
Families can keep the only up-to-date family health and school records.
Families can set their own improvement goals for their relationships.
Families make clear for themselves their unique wellness mission.
Families can explain to clergy their spiritual needs.

The perils facing the families are clear. Now the family wellness ways must become equally clear – the computer is waiting to do that job. Tell us how your family is doing with this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:12:00 +0000

JOINING SHAPES OUR FAMILIES

What is this all about? The proposition is this: Just as our words and language create human communication, so joining creates our families.

We are steadily learning that there is a big difference between hearing and listening. Now we are learning that this thing called “Joining” actually shapes our families.

To get at this let’s look at three levels of human communication: chatting, conversation and joining.

Most of us have lots of chat. We cover the world’s weather, national crises and Aunt Edna’s rheumatism. We can have a lot of chatting without much connection from all the talking. We fill our world with words either within the family, with others or from all the media. Shakespeare’s line is “Sound and fury signifying nothing”.

At the conversation level, things are different – talking, hearing and listening really happen. When the other person talks, I not only hear but I listen - which means I let his/her talk sink in. So at this level, in a conversation, there can be both hearing and listening - creating understanding between persons.

The claim here is that “joining” actually creates families. To better understand this, we had better see what “joining” really means. The word suggests one person actually joins the space of another. If I say to you “I’m having a lousy day”, you actually start to feel with me my lousy day. Even more importantly, if you respond with something like “I thought you looked a little down today”, that tells me you are with me.

What just happened here? One person left his own self concerns to move into the world of another. That is a very big deal. Why? Because two people forged a link. Relationships are built when two individuals join with each other by sharing what they are thinking and feeling - both ways.

Families are where our lives are intimately linked. The members are part of each other. Joining is how all this happens.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:15:00 +0000

HOW TO GET WELLNESS HELP FROM THE COMMUNITY

If we are worried about our wellness, our first instinct is to find help in the community. There are several problems with that. First, we need a clear picture of what makes us well. As we all know, wellness comes from a combination of diet, exercise, learning, praying, good relationships etc. Therefore we need some idea of what we need most.

So before we ask for help, we must decide what we need.

Next, we need a view of the community helpers. They are to be found in silos. For example, each church is a silo. Its walls are made up of beliefs, procedures and budgets. The silo is led by a particular profession. These silos are like the family - no time, too busy.

So when we knock on a silo door we find good folks who know quite a bit about one aspect of wellness. Churches aren’t experts in diet, exercise etc. They don’t have a full view of wellness and certainly not our wellness.

There are a number of big helping silos - health, education, social services and justice. Each with their walls and dominant professions - doctors in healthcare, lawyers in justice, etc.

The big community helping problem is that the big players have neither the time nor the ability to guide towards wellness - because wellness is the right combination of things for each individual. Only the family can do that.

So, a family looking for wellness help in the community must first be clear what wellness is needed. Then it can benefit from the right community agencies.

Part of the FAMILY CHALLENGE is finding what wellness your family needs. Do you know?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 13:46:00 +0000

THE FAMILY WAY TO WELLNESS

We all know how to be well: eat right, exercise, good relationships, prayer, be useful, learn and taste the arts. We also know that our wellness prevents illness; it helps us even if we do get sick. We are happier when we are well. Most of all we want our kids to be well.

So why aren’t we as well as we can be?

There are two big answers to that big question. First, we lose sight of our wellness because we are so busy and so distracted. Who has time to think about doing all the things that make us well? What a bind we are in!

Second, we have the habit of looking to someone else when we have a wellness problem. If we think we are sick we look on TV or the internet for a silver bullet. Or, we get a doctor’s appointment where we end up with some drug.

With the focus off our wellness and looking for someone else to help, we miss the wellness benefits.

So what do we need to do to be well? We need to take time to scan our wellness list to see what we most need doing. Then we need to do something now.

How can we get something done when we are so busy? A simple goal does the job - “In eight weeks I will take time to read a book I’ve always meant to”. How can I be sure I will bother? By writing the goal and result down and asking someone to help me keep track.

How will reading that book help my wellness? My rushing is unhealthy. Reading can break that cycle. By reading I stimulate my mind - learning is a big wellness step.

The way to wellness is to look up, take one small step then think about the next step a bit later.

As in all of the FAMILY CHALLENGES, stopping to take time even for the smallest thing takes effort. Tell us how you do with your first “small step”.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 13:12:00 +0000

LOOK WHAT THE FAMIY IS MISSING

We are a entering a new age of thinking. In the old thinking we used ideas like “cause and effect”. In that idea, we define the need (effect) which leads to the cause of the problem. With old thinking it suggests that there is one cause for one effect.

In our new age thinking we see that there can be many different things causing the result.

Here is an example from the old thinking. We can consider well-being coming from either fitness or faith. On any Sunday morning, the parking lot for the fitness center has cars full of folks who are dedicated to fitness as their source of well-being.

Down the street the church parking lot is full of cars with folks for whom faith is the big answer to life. If we started a discussion with these two groups we would find each dedicated to their own thing and thinking.

While these two definitions of well-being seem miles apart both parties miss the obvious point - they both can be right. So each can miss the big secret - well-being takes a number of good things to get the desired result.

This is the situation facing our super rushed families. To enjoy well-being these families now have to ask the question: “What are the dimensions of wellness?”

The Wellness Resource Center of Vanderbilt University has an interesting answer: The Wellness Wheel. In their model, wellness has six pieces in their pie. The pieces include: Social, Spiritual, Emotional, Intellectual, etc. It is the combination and balance of these that make for wellness.

What is our family missing? Our search for wellness is to be found in the combination of many good things in which they develop balance.

So, the fitness and the faith families need to chat to see how they can help each other.

In this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE, do you know what YOUR family is missing in its search for Family Wellness?

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 13:07:00 +0000

WELLNESS BY LEARNING

We all start learning the day we are born. By experience, we learn the basics through experiences with adults. Throughout is the big teacher life, we continue to learn by experience for better or for worse. Experience is the big teacher.

We are born with intellect. But intellect is not one thing. It is many different things and different kinds. Each has his own unique intellect and genetic gifts. So, learning by experience must suit our particular make-up. Helpful learning must therefore be shaped for individual needs. Learning for one may not help the learning for another. So, learning can’t be prepackaged.

Then we have schools. The root meaning of “education” is to lead out. Our schools have become huge and our education has become standardized and bureaucratic. Teachers have standardized teaching methods. These undergo periodic change as views change about best teaching methods. The correlation between teaching and learning continues to be uncertain.

In our day, families depend on schools for their children’s education. Families view education as the key to a child’s future. Huge family and public expenditures support all this. Unfortunately, there is little evidence that education is shaped to meet the needs of individuals. Nor is there evidence that more education means greater wellness.

Now, we all enjoy the world wide internet for information. Every conceivable question is being answered by reliable resources. We and our children are now all internet students. As we speak, learning and education are going through a revolution. Expertise is shifting from the professionals to the families. We are now all equipped to make good learning for us and our families.

The Internet equips families with resources for:

1. Learning experiences
2. Information for decision-making
3. Learning through schools.

It also provides reliable internet resources for all these areas.

Today’s big, bald fact is that learning happens mainly at home, work and in the community. Families need to face this fact and challenge, and take back direct responsibility for their children’s learning. Then they can ensure that their child uses schools and work and the community for his/her unique learning experiences.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 19 Dec 2008 09:38:00 +0000

THE FAMILY MEDIC CRISIS

Medicine is a great boon to us all. Doctors are one of the few professionals pledged to take responsibility for their patients. In our uncertain age it is refreshing to find someone who cares enough to do something for us.

Modern medicine and we face several crises. While the medical specialties have brought miracles, they unfortunately come in tight little packages. The result is that it is very difficult for doctors and families to find the right combination of help when there is more than one challenge - which is usually the case.

The big crisis in medicine is called case responsibility - who is responsible for the whole person and family? Who has the full picture of all the needs and services? Who sees that things get coordinated? GPs are in the best position to do this but they are either too busy or don’t have the case management skills.

As a big result, we have crises and tragedies. The some 40,000 U.S. deaths due to hospital errors is one result. Silver bullet, specialist treatments often fail because no one sees the whole picture. We humans are biological, social and spiritual beings and one dimension cannot be understood without the rest.

This whole scene has got so bad, so inefficient and so tragic, that someone has to take charge. Guess who? Right. We families have to become our own case managers. Someone must have our whole picture. We now have the know-how from the internet. In a half hour, we can learn more about our condition that our GP could ever get time to study.

So, medicine of our future must become a partnership between family and doctor, or psychiatrist, or counselor or pastor. We are in charge of our lives. We need to politely take charge and learn how to help our helpers become a partner without losing their own professional status.

Let's hear your thoughts on this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 21:31:00 +0000

FAMILY ENEMY NUMBER ONE

Family solidarity is our greatest treasure. It nurtures children’s well-being. It provides security for its members. It is our most reliable source of caring. It is with us when we are dying.

Fragmentation is the enemy of family solidarity. Inside and outside forces create splits. Relationships get shattered. Children become victims of neglect, abuse and addictions. All sorts of neurotic patterns get imbedded.

There are some clear community forces that promote family fragmentation. Here we list some in the interest of identifying “Family Enemy Number One”:

Phony Beliefs: We are offered an endless list of fixes for every possible life problem. Many of these have a money motive. Some are innocent. Others promote selfish and negative thinking. Few have stood the test of time. The number of choices is bewildering. Those without a firm belief easily become victims.

Debt: We have banks, financing schemes, reverse mortgages, etc. which makes us slaves to the dollar. Debt splits families by putting money first and sending members out on individual jobs. Debt distracts parents from their primary job of child nurturing.

Media: The right word for media is “Extreme”. The news, the entertainment and the ads keep pushing the extreme boundaries. In our fast age, their purpose is to get attention. Their impact is to sully our values giving us a coarse way of life. Children are helpless in the face of media information and glitz.

Rights: It is popular to support some “rights” efforts. This happens with enthusiasm without attention to the cost. Rights have to do with law. Laws mainly apply to individuals. However, when one individual’s rights are increased others are diminished. Among men, women, children and seniors in a family, when one gains new rights it is at the expense of the others and the family. For some strange reason the family is not seen as a legal entity and there are few family rights efforts. Who has a family view of rights?

Our purpose here is to ferret out “Family Enemy Number One”. In the process we get a clearer view of the powerful forces putting families on the ropes.

Tell us who you think is “Family Enemy Number One” in our endless battle to meet THE FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Thu, 20 Nov 2008 18:38:00 +0000

BOOMERS - WAKE UP, YOUR ALARM IS RINGING!

The Boomers are the generation who brought us our social philosophy - “Do your own Thing”.

In the space of one generation we turned our backs on the wisdom of our parents, on the authority of schools and on the relevance of the churches. Thanks to them we are now a materialistic, amoral and godless society - getting more so every day.

The essence of the philosophy is that I, an individual, am able to make better life judgments than the family, school and church which were our social foundations.

To help along this belief are both governments and businesses. Governments want our votes so they package up fancy “individual rights” (plus regulations). Businesses target individuals to sell us every possible item to make us successful.

The big problem is that the “Do your own thing” philosophy is directly opposed to the philosophy that says “It takes a tribe to raise a child”. Our addiction to individual freedom is shredding families as each person does his/her own thing.

The Boomers are quick to say we are giving our children the freedom to make their own social, moral and spiritual choices. The problem with that is they are not being given the options. The social, moral and spiritual lessons are not learned in school or from books. They come from their family and community experiences. These are the essentials children now do not have.

It is a tough, nasty and selfish world out there. Our children and grandchildren are being tossed into that world without the survival skills.

SO WHAT? It’s back to the family. The Boomers need to rediscover the family and rebuild it with all the players of all ages. That does a number of good things. It provides security for each person. It shares the wisdom and experience of those who have been there. It provides a personal identity, saving them from unhealthy identities offered by our unwell society.

Share with us your family’s methods of passing along wisdom and experience with this latest FAMILY CHALLENGE.

noreply@blogger.com (New Hope Covenants) — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 20:57:00 +0000

FAMILY - THE MISSING LINK

We are working hard to get ahead but are often falling further behind. We drive in faster cars and don’t have time. We can’t keep up with the new technology or the new drugs. We are surrounded by big problems of crime, addictions and garbage.

Our society can’t solve the big problems of terror, school shootings, HIV and death on the roads. Abortion, mercy killing, gay lifestyle and the ozone layer are unsolved challenges. We are using too much power, cutting down too many trees and using up too much water. We are living longer but can’t care for the elderly.

The magic of science is our big hope to live longer, better and healthier. Yet we all are going into big debt to pass on to our children. Darwin wrote “The Origin of Species” but with all the science advances, we still don’t have the answer to the secrets of life.

We are living in an age of spiritual upheaval. The older religions are consumed by political, financial and interracial issues. Instead of clear guides to living, we have ugly competing theories. None seem able to demonstrate the good life.

Enough already! How can the family handle all this? How can an individual handle all this? The answer is that the solo person cannot. It’s too much; the forces are too big and powerful. The individual cannot survive on his/her own.

But, biology has the big clue. It knows that a body is made up of cells. When cells work right, the body works right. When the body works right, it can use its God-given gifts to live well.

Those old religions had the right theory - The universe is designed so that bodies can exist and live together. That theory says we need to be together in belief and action. The trouble with the old religions is that they have lost sight of their unique secret. Togetherness is everything.

So, the family is the missing link. Its big secret is togetherness. When a family has that, its members have the support that they need to live well in this challenging modern world.